Awesome Stuff You Can Get Away With at Age 3

Kidcabulary

Yesternight (n), last night. "Daddy readed me a book yesternight." [I guess "readed" would also be kidcabulary.]

P.S. As I was writing this, I hear, "Dad, here's your tutu!" Uh oh....

I Don't Get It

Am I getting old? Because I don't understand kid's TV shows these days.

Max & Ruby....where are your parents? Ruby's not all that old, is she really responsible enough to be taking care of Max on a full time basis? That's quite a burden to place on a young rabbit. Also, she doesn't seem all that attentive to her brother...I am watching an episode right now where Ruby's trying to make a clubhouse and Max keeps bothering her. Basically, she keeps trying to get rid of him. Some parenting. And I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this creepy Bunny Scout Leader coming by without parental supervision.

Yo Gabba Gabba. Look, I respect Biz Markie's lyrical abilities, but I think Bud's educational focus at age three should be on something other than beatboxing. (For us adults, however, it's never too late to brush up on the basics:)

That being said, there's probably more educational value in a creepy robot teaching kids to wash their hands and not to eat glue than what I watched...a cat and a mouse beat the living shit out of each other.

And Where the Hell Was I?

Where have Newdaddy, Newmommy and Bud been for the past year and a half? Coming soon...

Covering the Basics

"Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina." - Kid from "Kindergarten Cop."

I realize that I am now that guy who you dated for a few months, had some great times with, and then stopped calling you. And now I'm ringing you up for a bootie call. Why should you give the time of day to someone who's been MIA for almost three months? Because this is a good story.

Bud has gotten the whole girl/boy thing down. She turns to me tonight and says "Daddy is a boy and mommy is a girl." Duh! Then, we quizzed her...What's Jacob?...a boy...What's Ali?...a girl...What's Nana...a girl? She went 9 for 10 (and the 1 may read this so I am not going to say who it is). Then, she proceeded to list everyone in her class, and their gender.

She then decided to brush my hair, and give me a headband. As she put the headband on, she said, "there you go big boy." And not "big boy" like in the way a tranny would say it...more like the opposite of what Newmommy says when she puts the headband on her: "there you go big girl". In other words...she's starting to get it.

Now, how to I convince her to stay away from the boys until she's twenty-one?