I had drinks a few nights ago with a bunch of fellow Jerseyites, all of whom have three- or four-year-olds. One of the fathers told me that, every night, he has to "check" to make sure that his daughter's room is clear of all of the things she's afraid of...
"Did you check for monsters?", she asks.
"Yes, I did," replies daddy.
"What about ghosts?"
"Mmm-hmm."
"What about pumas?," she asks.
"Pumas? Where did you hear about pumas?", asks the father.
"Diego."
Friggin' Diego...scaring kids like that. I didn't realize that pumas were indigenous to this area of New Jersey! I wish I knew that before I moved here. It wasn't in the brochure.
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