An Open Letter to Bad Parents

Dear Parents-With-the-Six-Year-Old-the-Three-Year-Old-and-the-Baby-Who-Brought-The-Whole-Family-To-Hooters-Thursday-Night-at-11-p.m.,

Seriously?!?!?!?!

Taking a cue from the great Michael Scott, I (a grown adult) joined three other grown adults Thursday night at Hooters to watch round one of the NCAA tournament. (By the way, I went 22-10 in the first round, with 15 of my sweet sixteen still alive). I am not necessarily proud of my selection of venue and, I must say, being the father of a little girl, I felt mildly sleazy. However, one can't argue with their wings and the cost of pitchers.

But then, in you came, at 11pm, with a six-year-old, a three-year-old and a baby. I ask again...seriously?!?!?!?!? It's like a kid getting arrested for DUI, there are SO MANY things wrong with that. First, it's 11pm. Your kids should be in bed. They should have already eaten. Your three-year-old looked like he was about to pass out. Even with the giant rack in his face. (I do realize that a giant rack in a baby's face is quite typical, but this isn't exactly how it works.) Also, it's Hooters. Despite the fact that they have promotions aimed a kids for some reason, and a kid's menu (which I had to take home with me for the comedic value), it's not exactly a kid's restaurant. It's even less so at 11pm. I'm not going to get into issues of nutrition.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say: children shouldn't be in bars at 11pm.

Sincerely,

Newdaddy

Awesome Stuff You Can Get Away With at Age 3

Kidcabulary

Yesternight (n), last night. "Daddy readed me a book yesternight." [I guess "readed" would also be kidcabulary.]

P.S. As I was writing this, I hear, "Dad, here's your tutu!" Uh oh....

I Don't Get It

Am I getting old? Because I don't understand kid's TV shows these days.

Max & Ruby....where are your parents? Ruby's not all that old, is she really responsible enough to be taking care of Max on a full time basis? That's quite a burden to place on a young rabbit. Also, she doesn't seem all that attentive to her brother...I am watching an episode right now where Ruby's trying to make a clubhouse and Max keeps bothering her. Basically, she keeps trying to get rid of him. Some parenting. And I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this creepy Bunny Scout Leader coming by without parental supervision.

Yo Gabba Gabba. Look, I respect Biz Markie's lyrical abilities, but I think Bud's educational focus at age three should be on something other than beatboxing. (For us adults, however, it's never too late to brush up on the basics:)

That being said, there's probably more educational value in a creepy robot teaching kids to wash their hands and not to eat glue than what I watched...a cat and a mouse beat the living shit out of each other.

And Where the Hell Was I?

Where have Newdaddy, Newmommy and Bud been for the past year and a half? Coming soon...