Vegas, Baby!! (Or, 10 things I learned in Vegas)

1. I thought I was a good wingman before I had a child...but, nothing works better than a cellphone picture of a baby. (Your welcome, fellas!)
   
2. Vegas is the most honest city in the world...everyone's generally after money, but Vegas does not try to hide this fact. (MGM Grand charges $16 for a raft for the day....$16....are you f-ing kidding me?!?!)
   
3. There are no "lounges" anymore, there are only "ultralounges." See this and this.
4. Its virtually impossible to keep track of your baby's schedule when you are separated by three time zones.
   
5. If you don't pay someone, you're not getting in....unless your name ends in "Hilton", "Reid" or "Lohan."
   
6. I didn't know this, but apparently there are strippers in Vegas. (Go figure.) For every stripper, there is a failure of a father somewhere. But we already knew that.
7. As good as I am at blackjack, I am about $70 worse at poker.
   
8. Danny Gans is permanently "Entertainer of the Year." I've been going to Vegas every year since '02, and those billboards have never changed. He must be very good.
   
9. Red Bull actually does give you wings.
10. There are few things more painful than the flight home from Vegas. Except for maybe a five hour flight home from Vegas.