Saturday, May 24, 2008

The "L" Word*

*No, not that "L" word.

Almost every population has an associated slur that's typically offensive to that type of person. Races, religions, nationalities, disabilities, people who excel at certain activities, people who are prone to certain thing they all have in common is that at some point, someone dreamed up a word to offensively describe them.

And, today, I learned that little girls are offended by the term "Little." Let me explain...

Bud is in the point-out-everything-she-sees phase. Playground. Slide. Pizza. Today, we were at the playground, and Bud sees a little girl. She said, "Little girl." The girl whipped her head around and said, "I'm not little. I'm a big girl 'cause I'm four!" My one-year-old offended this girl! The little big girl turns to her father and says, "Daddy...she called me little!"

Uh, oh. Seems like I have to sit down with Bud and explain to her that she just can't go around spouting ageist slurs like that.

Let this be a warning to you all. I wasn't aware that this was offensive. The next time you're in a bar and the population is predominantly women under the age of seven, make sure you avoid using the L-word.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Newdaddy! Hall of Fame

The Newdaddy! Hall of Fame recognizes individuals who have provided substantial support or advancement to the field of parenting. And today, I honor, Professional Family Portrait Photographer from the Babies-R-Us I Went to Last Weekend.

Only someone with patience and dedication can truly put up with an anxious father looking to get the perfect mother's day present, a twenty-month-old who can't, won't and has no interest in sitting still for a fifteen-minute photo shoot, and the proud-yet-embarrassed mother wanting perfect photos from the prettiest yet most squirmy little girl in the world.

Only someone with cat-like speed and reflexes, and the timing of a Superbowl quarterback, can capture the millisecond-held smiles between the frowns and cries. Only someone with an advanced degree in child psychology and the experience of a hundred grandmothers can figure out how to get an upset, tired, hungry child to even put on those smiles.

Professional Family Portrait Photographer from the Babies-R-Us I Went to Last Weekend, welcome to the Newdaddy! Hall of Fame

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mother's Day Memories

Happy Mother's Day!

Today makes me think of Mother's Day two years ago, when Newmommy was pregnant with Bud, and I didn't get her a present or otherwise acknowledge the day for her, thinking that Mother's Day didn't apply to pregnant women.

As it turns out, Mother's Day applies to pregnant women.

Make a note.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Get Your Hibachi On

Newmommy and I went out on a limb tonight and took Bud for hibachi. We figured it would either be really cool or a complete disaster. Bud is going through something of a whiny phase, and if you mess with her eating routine it only gets worse. It turns out- hibachi is a great place to take your young kids.

First of all, its loud, and the sizzling of the hibachi and clanking of the knives drown out any whining, crying or loud talking. Second, the "show" keeps kids occupied. Third, they serve a variety of food over the course of the meal, so if the kid doesn't like one or many items, there are still others to choose from.

Well, that was a pretty good seventh grade three-point-argument paragraph.

Bud did really well- she was in somewhat of a bad mood when we first got there. (Today was particularly tough as we spent the morning taking professional family photos. More on that later.) But, when the food started coming, she was trying everything and loving it...miso soup, fried rice, noodles, steak (I am so proud, she loved it!), chicken...this chick really went to town. She did get a bit freaked out when they lit the fire, but handled it very maturely...turning away, no crying, and clapping her hands when it was done. Oh, and she ordered rice from the waitress...looking at her and yelling "RICE!"

I recommend giving it a try.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I Suck at Blogging

Wow, do I suck at blogging. This thing started with the proverbial "full head of steam," and now I realize that this is the longest intermission between posts since I started. No, I'm not looking to give it up. To avoid sounding like an erectile dysfunction commercial, I've been under a lot of stress lately...really busy at work. Of course, that's a total lie. Well, not a total lie, as I am quite busy at work, but I actually do have time to write...I've just been, how you say, hella-lazy. I have been watching the developing train wreck that is the 2008 Yankees (yes, I do realize they have a better record then they did at this point last year, but I also realize that you can't make a serious run with only two-and-a-half pitchers in your starting rotation.) Newmommy turned me on to Facebook, and I've reconnected with a whole bunch of high school friends...if by "reconnected", you mean accepted them as a friend, wrote one e-mail back-and-forth, and then recommenced where we were immediately prior to the Facebook discovery.

I guess part of it is a temporary lapse in good post ideas. Bud's doing amazing things every day, so that really shouldn't be the case, although a lot of times I can't think of a good "spin" for the story, and I don't report to avoid simply pouring details about my kid. Like George Carlin said, "We'd don't care about your kids, that's why they're your kids."

But, now that I've gotten the blood flowing through the fingertips, I hope to get back on the blogging horse, and not put a tent around it on the track.

I think Abe Lincoln said it best, when he said, "Be excellent to each other. on dude."