Saturday, March 20, 2010

An Open Letter to Bad Parents

Dear Parents-With-the-Six-Year-Old-the-Three-Year-Old-and-the-Baby-Who-Brought-The-Whole-Family-To-Hooters-Thursday-Night-at-11-p.m.,


Taking a cue from the great Michael Scott, I (a grown adult) joined three other grown adults Thursday night at Hooters to watch round one of the NCAA tournament. (By the way, I went 22-10 in the first round, with 15 of my sweet sixteen still alive). I am not necessarily proud of my selection of venue and, I must say, being the father of a little girl, I felt mildly sleazy. However, one can't argue with their wings and the cost of pitchers.

But then, in you came, at 11pm, with a six-year-old, a three-year-old and a baby. I ask again...seriously?!?!?!?!? It's like a kid getting arrested for DUI, there are SO MANY things wrong with that. First, it's 11pm. Your kids should be in bed. They should have already eaten. Your three-year-old looked like he was about to pass out. Even with the giant rack in his face. (I do realize that a giant rack in a baby's face is quite typical, but this isn't exactly how it works.) Also, it's Hooters. Despite the fact that they have promotions aimed a kids for some reason, and a kid's menu (which I had to take home with me for the comedic value), it's not exactly a kid's restaurant. It's even less so at 11pm. I'm not going to get into issues of nutrition.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say: children shouldn't be in bars at 11pm.



Saturday, March 13, 2010


Yesternight (n), last night. "Daddy readed me a book yesternight." [I guess "readed" would also be kidcabulary.]

P.S. As I was writing this, I hear, "Dad, here's your tutu!" Uh oh....

Sunday, March 07, 2010

I Don't Get It

Am I getting old? Because I don't understand kid's TV shows these days.

Max & Ruby....where are your parents? Ruby's not all that old, is she really responsible enough to be taking care of Max on a full time basis? That's quite a burden to place on a young rabbit. Also, she doesn't seem all that attentive to her brother...I am watching an episode right now where Ruby's trying to make a clubhouse and Max keeps bothering her. Basically, she keeps trying to get rid of him. Some parenting. And I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this creepy Bunny Scout Leader coming by without parental supervision.

Yo Gabba Gabba. Look, I respect Biz Markie's lyrical abilities, but I think Bud's educational focus at age three should be on something other than beatboxing. (For us adults, however, it's never too late to brush up on the basics:)

That being said, there's probably more educational value in a creepy robot teaching kids to wash their hands and not to eat glue than what I watched...a cat and a mouse beat the living shit out of each other.

Monday, March 01, 2010

And Where the Hell Was I?

Where have Newdaddy, Newmommy and Bud been for the past year and a half? Coming soon...