Monday, July 28, 2008

4 Year Old Manipulation

I was having lunch at a friend's house recently, when his four-year-old daughter began taking chips from an open bag on the kitchen table. My friend asked his little girl to stop taking the chips, and she complied momentarily. Then, as if to "challenge" her daddy, she slowly stuck her hand in the chips while staring directly at my friend, and grabed a chip.

Angered, the daddy asked, "why did you take a chip while looking directly at me??" As if to ask, "you know what you're doing is wrong...and you know that I know what you're doing is why did you do it??"

Not missing a beat, the little girl replied, "because I love you."

Game. Set. Match.

How do you argue with logic like that?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

What is Love? Baby don't hurt me...

Bud dances now. But when she does, she really only moves her head around. I think I've seen that dance before...
While she danced the other day, I started to sing the theme song, until I realized that the last thing you want your kid repeating in public is "don't hurt me."

We Don't Throw Food...

...except that one time in college when me, Bluto and Pinto wanted to get back at those damn Omegas...wait that was someone else.

There are a few sure signs of adulthood...if being thirty-two years old isn't enough. Preferring VH1 to MTV is one. Appreciating history (damn, that John Adams series was good!) is another. Knowing that Freddie Mac is not a McDonald's character is another. And saying "We Don't Throw Food" more than ten times in a week is certainly one.

Yes, my friends, we have entered what some might call the "Terrible Twos," although I cringe when I hear people use that expression much in the same way I've been cringing during those damn Mohegan Sun commercials. "M-m-m-my Mohegan....shut up!!"

Until now, we haven't had many "behavior" issues, so this is my first brush with being a disciplinarian, and I sort of feel like the principal in You Can't Do That On Television...("OK, Moose, for your detention I'd like you to copy pages 5 through 1,523 of this dictionary..." ) Tonight, as we walked into a Mexican restaurant, Bud threw her sippy cup at the hostess and grunted "Meeh!" We had to explain to her why that type of behavior was not right, and broke out the big guns when she refused to eat and kept throwing her watching her Grover DVD tonight.

Part of me feels like a real A-hole because Bud really doesn't understand and fully appreciate all of life's rules. So, it must be really hard to be doing simple things like dropping her fork, or pulling her straw out of her drink or dipping her crayon in the guacamole, or dropping her peach in my morning coffee, and constantly being told "No!" On the other hand, she has to learn the rules, and the only real way to learn is to be constantly reminded.

I considered whether the food-throwing is a behavior "problem," but I figure that all 22-month-olds act like this in some way. So, for now, I've gotta be a cop and constantly stop Bud when she breaks the rules. I'm sure she'll get it. Until she goes to college, I guess, and then all bets are off. Still, I've got some time before I have to worry about that.