Monday, January 22, 2007

Daddy, I Want an Oompa Loompa NOW!

Dear Cher's Parents from the episode of "My Super Sweet 16" I saw in a hotel Sunday morning,

We don't know each other, but I'd like to thank you.

This weekend, my wife and I took our first weekend getaway from our four-month-old daughter. We had left her for a night before, but never a weekend, and I was worried that I was a bad parent for wanting to take a weekend away with my wife. But, I realize after watching your show that I am actually a great parent.

Admittedly, I am not a usual viewer of MTV's "My Super Sweet 16." Until Sunday, I really didn't know that there was a show about girls getting ridiculous Sweet 16 parties. But, it was early in the morning, and "I Love New York" wasn't on for another few hours. Also, after one minute, I was hooked, as watching this show was like watching a train just kept getting worse and worse...from the $96,000 jaguar birthday present, to the $15,000 earrings, to the four dresses (by the way should be arrested for letting your girl out in that!), to the whiny scene where Cher complains that her PARTY ENTRANCE FLOAT wasn't perfect.

My wife and I quickly went from thinking that your daughter was a brat, to thinking you're just bad parents. I quote a very esteemed group from our history:

"Who do you blame when your kid is a brat? Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat. Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame. You know exactly who's to blame. The mother and the father."

Am I just complaining because I'm jealous? Maybe. I would love a $96,000 car, as I would have when I was in 10th grade. But I really hope that your daughter can cope with real life when she 'wants' something that you can't give her, and she can't get it.

But, in the end, I realize that leaving a baby with the in-laws for a weekend is hardly bad parenting and, so, I thank you for putting my life in perspective.



P.S. Make sure she's REALLY CAREFUL around golden egg chutes. Dad, you may want to take that advice too.

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