It's early December. I know because Christmas songs have been playing in every store I've gone in for about five weeks. The requisite "Had Thanksgiving Plans that Got Ruined, But I Learned a Deeper Lesson About Myself" episode of every sitcom has already been followed by the "Cynical Character Turned Straight" Christmas episode. That reddish-brown dried skin has begun to form on my hands, and I have to climb to work over hundreds of tourists holding signs that they just tried to get shown on the "Today Show."
Don't get me wrong...there are good things about this time of year: two three-day weekends in a row, work holiday parties (who's going to get drunk and embarrass themselves this year?), Starbucks Gingerbread Lattes, and, generally, there's a lot more chocolate accessible everywhere. Plus, New Year's Eve...a holiday where we celebrate the changing of a calendar...I love it.
Of course, there's Hanukkah. What do you get a three-month old who has no idea what a gift is in the first place? I'll tell you...whatever I want! I'm just going to enjoy this one, as next year, I probably won't get off so easy!
So, in the immortal words of Krusty the Klown, "have a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, kwazy Kwanzaa, a tip-top Tet, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan."