Dear Passengers of last Sunday's Continental Flight from Newark with non-stop service to San Juan, Puerto Rico,
Queridos pasajeros del vuelo Continental del domingo pasado de Newark con servicio directo a San Juan, Puerto Rico,
I saw the looks.
Baby on a plane...crap. She's going to cry the entire time. Well, you were wrong.
Yeah, I know, I held up the line on the jetway trying to get the stroller into the carrying bag to be gate-checked. Yeah, I know I didn't need that bag either (thank you oh experienced travellers with kids). But, seriously, the plane's not leaving without you. It wasn't even a full flight, you were going to get your bag in the overhead.
Three hours and forty-six minutes...she didn't cry. She giggled a bit, and slept a bit. She did take a dump...so what? You probably didn't realize it!
So, Mr. Bluetooth-in-first-class who probably loves the sound of his own signature...you're important business call was not interrupted. Nor was your Spring Break effected Miss Pink-Sweats-to-look-causal (and your identically dressed companions).
I know how you feel...before I had a kid, I would have been concerned seeing a baby getting on a plane. It's sort of like waiting for the subway...if I'm not on the train, move in...there's plenty of space on the train. If I'm already in it....why are you pushing? There's a train directly behind us.
[Ed. Note: Completely unrelated- the sick kid on Airplane gets the IV knocked out of her arm during the song "There is Only One River." We never see her again...are we to presume she died?
And, while we're on the subject of Airplane!, Religious Zealot #1 ("Hello, we'd like you to have this flower from the religious consciousness church, would you care to make a donation?") was played by Gregory Itzin, also known as President Charles Logan on "24".]