Based on a one-evening study, I can confirm that spicy food and garlic does NOT induce labor. It does, however, induce upset stomach, sour stomach, heartburn, acid indigestion and diarrhea which, although may feel as painful as giving birth (OK, ladies, probably not), did not cause Newmommy to deliver.
This experiment took place Thursday night at our local Indian hotspot. Newmommy, uncomfortable as she enters week number thirty-nine, wanted to test out the rumor that spicy food induces labor. We also heard that garlic induces labor, so we thought a spicy vindaloo dish with garlic naan would be perfect. Dinner at eight, delivery by ten.
Newmommy orders the Chicken Vindaloo, eliciting a warning from the waiter..."that is very spicy, the spiciest thing on our menu....it is a nine out of ten." I'm a big fan of spicy food, and figured I could handle it; Newmommy, I thought, in her normal condition probably could too. However, given that we didn't need another reason for her to be uncomfortable, I suggested we settle on the Tandori Chicken.
Newmommy simply cites Rule #76 of Wedding Crashing: "No excuses. Play like a champion." (Man, I love this chick.)
This Chicken Vindaloo was deadly. The water was flowing, we were sweating, and by the end of the meal, both of our stomachs were on fire. It was delicious, but it was a bad choice.
One hour later, stomach aches...but no baby.
Two hours later and some Tums....no baby.
3:00am...I had some time to catch up on the book I was reading in the bathroom...Newmommy asleep sans contractions.
By 11am Friday (at the office), I was still burping up whatever spice was used in that dish. Conclusion: spicy food and garlic does not induce labor.
Results to be published in "Parents Killing Time Before Childbirth" Magazine.