Nothing elicits stupid comments from total strangers more than telling them you're expecting a child. Admittedly, women have this much worse...Newmommy (or, more accurately, Almostnewmommy), in the worst of the recent oppressive heat wave, was given the very helpful advice not to stay outside for too long. (Please, anyone who can figure out the mechanics to get pregnant in the first place should be able to figure that out). She's been told over five hundred times she's carrying a girl...over a thousand it's a boy, and has been given breast feeding tips from women who have not breastfed since the Truman administration.
To a man, however, its always the same comment..."Your life is going to change."
Just so you know...I am aware of this. I've seen the movies...It's 3:12am...I have the big presentation at 9...The baby's crying..."Honey, it's your turn", blah, blah....
To the defense of some, it is often followed up with "It's great, but, your life is going to change." More often, however, it's "get those nights out, nights of sleep, movies, etc. in now."
It scares me...not so much because of the truth of the statement...I do realize that my life will change. Rather, the focus seems wrong. When I (and probably every man) got married, I was scared. Scared because I knew EXACTLY what (more accurately, who) I would be giving up. However, other than the fact that I was getting Newmommy for the rest of my life, I didn't know what it was going to be like. No wonder it's scary...you live your life every day and suddenly it's totally different. However, on THIS side of the wedding, I can tell young engaged guys that, if you have indeed found the right woman, you're getting more than you are giving up.
So, shouldn't the same be true with having children? Shouldn't the experienced fathers be telling me that I should be looking forward to a general life improvement, and not focus on the loss? Is it that most guys just don't enjoy being fathers? Or is it the same BS hazing-the-new-guy that we got before starting high school. I hope it's the latter.
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2 comments:
Dear Newdaddy:
Great blog! I find that your comments on becoming a new daddy are thoughtful and insightful. As a daddy myself, I thought I would share with you some of the more positive things to help you through the tail end of newmommy's pregnancy and the beginning of a wonderful journey at your child's birth.
Being a daddy is the greatest feeling anyone, especially a man, can ever feel. Every movement of your child, whether it is a nose twitch, a smile, or even greater things like walking and soon hitting a soccer ball down a field, are wonderful milestones. You don't give anything up in your life when you become a daddy. In fact, what you gain (not to sound like a mastercard commercial) is priceless.
You gain a much richer life than you ever had before. YOu learn things about yourself that you never knew and you learn to become a better person, a better husband, and of course, a better daddy. I wish for you, newmommy, and bud a very wonderful life because the birth of any child marks the moment in your life where everything becomes so much sweeter.
Sincerely,
DaddyG
It's like falling in love all over again. I can't over-rate it. Like anything else, alot of work, but, what an investment !
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