Saturday, February 10, 2007

Cry It Out

We've been very lucky. Bud slept through the night for the first time at about 8 weeks...and when I say "slept through the night," I mean a solid twelve-hour stretch. It hasn't been consistent, there have been a number of nights where Newmommy and I had to wake up a few times to give Bud the pacifier back...but, all in all, she's been a great sleeper.

Over the last few nights it has become apparent that Bud has become "addicted" to the pacifier...she can't sleep without it. And, because she has been losing the pacifier at night...either unintentionally, or actually pulling the thing out...we've been getting up more.

She also just turned five months, so Newmommy and I are attempting to "train" Bud to sleep sans-Binky by having her "Cry it Out." What this means is not giving her the pacifier when she cries for it in the middle of the night, and have her learn to soothe herself to sleep.

What this really means is sitting listing to your child cry and not doing anything about it. This is what the books say to do, and what doctors say to do, and what our friends have told us works...but this can't be right.

As I write this, it's Bud's naptime, but she's not asleep. She's crying, and has been for the last twenty-nine minutes. (Actually, not really crying, sort of a whining...) I am fighting every parental urge I have to go help her to sleep, and I keep telling myself that this is what I am supposed to do; and that by helping her learn to sleep I am being a good parent....but it sure does not feel that way. Baby needs me...I should be there. It feels like I'm being a bad parent.

This sucks.

1 comment:

Peter said...

You know, my wife and I tried that cry it out business, too. Our son, Jake, had a binky addiction, but just when he slept. We finally gave up on that and let him have it at bed time. What turned out to work great for us was this: convince Bud to give it up when she is between 12-18 months. Jake was able to reason and understand that the binky was for a baby, and he wasn't one anymore. Sure, he cried for a while for the first two nights, and we didn't just leave him there. We consoled him when he was upset, and I think that made him feel secure enough to let the thing go. After a couple days, he didn't cry about it again, and after a week, he didn't even ask for it anymore.
To address the issues of getting up in the middle of the night to pop a binky back in, leave a lot in the crib, think 3-4, and Bud will figure out how to grab one in no time, and then she can put herself back to sleep!
I hope this advice helps you out, I know it would have been torture to try and get my son to cry it out. He cried for 3 hours when we tried that! (we finally gave up)
Good luck, and I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this, and how things progress. Thanks for writing your blog, I have been a reader from the very start!