Teacher: What'll we do!?
Ms. Krabapple: Declare a snow day!
Teacher: Does anyone know the multiplication table?
Skinner: No, please, don't panic. They can smell fear."
- From "The Simpsons: Separate Vocations"
I present below the teacher's edition to Thursday's post, "Guesswork in a White Coat" ...answers provided by the Pediatrician...
Do you clean the area around the umbilical cord before it falls off?
Pediatrician SAYS {in my best Richard Dawson voice}: You can if you want, but it is not necessary.
Do you wake a sleeping baby to feed?
Jim J. Bollock: "Yes." Pediatrician: "Disagree, unless she's gone four hours without feeding. But, most likely, you won't have to wake her up by then." Circle gets a square.

To supplement breastfeeding, should you use a bottle?
Stop! Stop at a Whammy.... (The Pediatrician actually said yes, but I couldn't think of a good way to tie-in Press Your Luck, arguably the greatest gameshow of all time.)
No comments:
Post a Comment