Sunday, September 24, 2006

No More Infant Cell Phones

Yet again, my big mouth asks a seasoned parent for helpful advice, and yet again I am thrown in the midst of a simple-issued-turned-parenting-controversy. This week: Pacifiers.

"I would never give my kid a pacifier...parents who use a physical object to calm down their kids aren't really parents."

"Pacifiers are good! Why let a kid cry all night if all they want to do is have a sucking sensation? Plus, pacifiers are known to reduce incidents of SIDS!"

"Shampoo is better, I go on first and clean the hair." "Conditioner is better, I leave the hair silky and smooth!" "Oh really, fool!"

Fact is, I am a bad parent because I have not yet picked an "issue." So, here goes...I am staunchly anti-cell phones for infants. Now, I know what you're thinking. Cell phones help infants gain communication skills. Plus, with all of the video games on cell phones, it helps hand-eye coordination. If you think that, you shouldn't even have kids.

First, cell phones really interfere with feedings. How often have you tried to feed your infant, and they're talking away on their phones? Then, milk spills on the phone, risking electric shock! Second, babies do not have the cognitive ability to stay below their allotted minutes, or to differentiate between days, nights and weekends. Therefore, they blow right through their anytime minutes...and us parents end up paying the overages! Finally, and I don't mean to be ageist, but babies have the stupidest ringtones. "The Wheels on the Bus" was never meant to tell someone they have a phone call.

Same goes for giving blackberries to infants. Unless, of course, they need it for work. Then I guess it's OK.

P.S. Do I smell a subway series??

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